Cutback's at president's corporation
One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."
The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."
At Ski lodge
Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
Test for virginity
This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her pussy. "Put your finger in me..." she asks him. So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning. "Put two fingers in...", she says. So in goes another one. She's really starting to get worked up when she says, "Put your whole hand in!". The guy's like, "Ok!". So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!!!". So the guy puts both of his hands in! "Now clap your hands..." commands the girl. "I can't", says the guy. The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight pussy!".
Four Kinds Of Sex
HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.
BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.
HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"
COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.
At Sperm Donor Bank.......
A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
Sperm Count of elderly man
There was an elderly man who wanted to make his younger wife pregnant. So, he went to the doctor to have a sperm count done. The doctor told him to take a specimen cup home, fill it, and bring it back the next day. The elderly man came back the next day and the specimen cup was empty and the lid was on it. Doctor: What was the problem? Elderly man: Well, you I tried with my right hand...nothing. So, I tried with my left hand...nothing. My wife tried with her right hand...nothing. Her left hand...nothing. Her mouth...nothing. Then my wife's friend tried. Right hand, left hand, mouth....still nothing. Doctor: Wait a minute. You mean your wife's friend too?! Elderly man: Yeah, and we still couldn't get the lid off of the specimen cup.
Fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
Don't copy stuff ......
A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention,
said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
wasn't my wife !"
The crowd was shocked!!!!!!!!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well
received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to
use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It
was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman who was not my wife!"
Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half
of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who
she was !"
As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste . . .
said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
wasn't my wife !"
The crowd was shocked!!!!!!!!
He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"
The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well
received.
About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to
use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It
was a bit foggy to him.
He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman who was not my wife!"
Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.
After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half
of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who
she was !"
As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....
Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste . . .
RAAT KAT GAYI ..shayari
Sirf Utni Piyo Ke Hosh Qaayam Rahe. . .
Kyunki Ghalib Ne Arz kiya Hai. . .
Raat Bhar Sharab Pi. . .
Raat Cut Gayi
Subah Jab Hisaab Kia. . .
Gaand Phat Gayi. .
Kyunki Ghalib Ne Arz kiya Hai. . .
Raat Bhar Sharab Pi. . .
Raat Cut Gayi
Subah Jab Hisaab Kia. . .
Gaand Phat Gayi. .
PHAAR DENGE GAAND ..shayari
Har Cheekh Ehsaas Humara Dilayegi
Har Raat Qissa Humara Dohrayegi
Hum Itni Phaar Denge Gaand Aap Ki
K Dunya Ki Koi Elfy Jod Na Payegi . . .
Har Raat Qissa Humara Dohrayegi
Hum Itni Phaar Denge Gaand Aap Ki
K Dunya Ki Koi Elfy Jod Na Payegi . . .
Why Man Hold Boobs & Put Nipples In Mouth Bfore Sex. . .
Guesss . . . .
B’coz
Naag Ko Uthane K Liye Doodh Pilana Zaruuri Hai . . .
B’coz
Naag Ko Uthane K Liye Doodh Pilana Zaruuri Hai . . .
Why Man Hold Boobs & Put Nipples In Mouth Bfore Sex. . .
Guesss . . . .
B’coz
Naag Ko Uthane K Liye Doodh Pilana Zaruuri Hai . . .
B’coz
Naag Ko Uthane K Liye Doodh Pilana Zaruuri Hai . . .
FILL THE BLANKS IN ENGLISH EXAM
Yaar Tu Wo Hi HaI Na Jisne Matric K Exam Main English K Paper
Main sawal Dekha . . . "FILL IN THE BLANKS"
Aur Apni Gand Main Ungli Dal Kar 3 Ghante y Betha Raha. . . .
Main sawal Dekha . . . "FILL IN THE BLANKS"
Aur Apni Gand Main Ungli Dal Kar 3 Ghante y Betha Raha. . . .
A Tits [ ( . ) ( . ) ] Poem ............
Seven wise men smarter than shit,
decided to make a pair of tits.
First was a miner who came from the ground,
Grabbed a shovel and made two mounds.
Next was a sculptor after being soothed,
With skillful hands he made them smooth.
Third was a mattress maker who was a bit sleazy,
But worked on the boobs to make them squeezy.
Fourth came a tailor who could tuck and nip,
At the top of it he made a tip.
Fifth was a farmer that gave them milk,
Coming from the tip smooth as silk.
Sixth was a father that burst out and said,
"If she feeds the kids, I stay in bed!"
Finally was a pimp who said with some spit,
after licking and sucking, "This is definitely a tit!". . . .
decided to make a pair of tits.
First was a miner who came from the ground,
Grabbed a shovel and made two mounds.
Next was a sculptor after being soothed,
With skillful hands he made them smooth.
Third was a mattress maker who was a bit sleazy,
But worked on the boobs to make them squeezy.
Fourth came a tailor who could tuck and nip,
At the top of it he made a tip.
Fifth was a farmer that gave them milk,
Coming from the tip smooth as silk.
Sixth was a father that burst out and said,
"If she feeds the kids, I stay in bed!"
Finally was a pimp who said with some spit,
after licking and sucking, "This is definitely a tit!". . . .
HOW PUSSY IS CREATED
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.
MORE JOKES BY HAMMAD
"Men Were Given Both A PENIS & A BRAIN. . .
But Unfortunately Not Enough Blood Supply To Run Both At The Same Time.” . . .
**************************************************************************************
Girl: Doctor Me Jab Bhi Su-Su Karti Hoon Tou
4 Dhaar Nikalti Hai
After Chcking Doctor Said: 4 Dhaar Hi Niklengi,
Andar Kisi Ki Pent Ka Button Phansa Hua Hai .....
**************************************************************************************
A gy Walk Into A Local Pharmacy & Walks Up To The Counter Where Lady Pharmacists Is Filling Preception
When She Finally Gets Around To Him
He Sys : I'd Like 99 Condom Plz
Lady Pharmacist Suprises & Says : FUCK MEE...!!!
Boy Replies: Ok, Make It 100 .... ;->
ThaT's The Spirit ....
But Unfortunately Not Enough Blood Supply To Run Both At The Same Time.” . . .
**************************************************************************************
Girl: Doctor Me Jab Bhi Su-Su Karti Hoon Tou
4 Dhaar Nikalti Hai
After Chcking Doctor Said: 4 Dhaar Hi Niklengi,
Andar Kisi Ki Pent Ka Button Phansa Hua Hai .....
**************************************************************************************
A gy Walk Into A Local Pharmacy & Walks Up To The Counter Where Lady Pharmacists Is Filling Preception
When She Finally Gets Around To Him
He Sys : I'd Like 99 Condom Plz
Lady Pharmacist Suprises & Says : FUCK MEE...!!!
Boy Replies: Ok, Make It 100 .... ;->
ThaT's The Spirit ....
TRUTH ABOUT SMOKING AND SEX
Smoking Reduces Ur Life By 5 Minutes . . .
Sex Increases Ur Life By 10 Minutes . . .
So The Conclusion Is That A Fucking Smoker Never Dies . . .
Sex Increases Ur Life By 10 Minutes . . .
So The Conclusion Is That A Fucking Smoker Never Dies . . .
BOY'S ATTITUDE
A boy When Proposez A Girl
If she sayz "YES" Then
PATA NAHI KITNO KO HAAN KAHA HOGA . . . . !!!
If she sayz "NO" Then
BEHAN KI LORI KHUD KO ASHWARYA RAI SAMAJHTI HAI. . .
If she sayz "YES" Then
PATA NAHI KITNO KO HAAN KAHA HOGA . . . . !!!
If she sayz "NO" Then
BEHAN KI LORI KHUD KO ASHWARYA RAI SAMAJHTI HAI. . .
WHY SNOW WHITE IS FRUSTRATED
Snow White & the 7 Dwarfs Had Sex
Snow White: I'm Sad & Frustrated!
Dwarfs: Why?
She Cried n Said:
I Want 7 inches 1 time, Not 1 inch 7 times. . .
Snow White: I'm Sad & Frustrated!
Dwarfs: Why?
She Cried n Said:
I Want 7 inches 1 time, Not 1 inch 7 times. . .
What Is The Similarty Between Violin and Women. . . ?
Both Are Touched At Top And Played At Bottom. . .
Why Do The Urdu Speaking Women Have Mostly Big Breasts. . . ?
Because
Whenever They Greet Anyone. . . They Say AA..DAAAB , AA..DAAAB. . .
Whenever They Greet Anyone. . . They Say AA..DAAAB , AA..DAAAB. . .
Q: Why Do Girls Talk So Much And Guys Think So Much. . . ? ?
A: It's Because. . .
Girls Have Two Pairs Of Lips And Guys Have Two Heads. . .
Girls Have Two Pairs Of Lips And Guys Have Two Heads. . .
SOME DIRTY SHARAYI IN HINDI FROM HAMMAD
Arz Kia Hai. . . ! ! !
Choot Ki Chahat Mein Sara Chaman Jala Dala
Wah Wah
Chut Ki Chahat Mein Saara Chaman Jala Dala
Kia Kehne . . .
Aisa Choda Aisa Choda K Choot Ko Kamaan Bana Dala. . .
*************************************************************************************
Main Teri Aankh Se Aujhal Ho Jaon Ga
Duur Bohat Fizao'n Main Kho Jaon Ga
Meri Yado'n Se Lipat Ker Roye Gi Tu Bohat
Jab Main Teri Gaand Mar Kar Farar Ho Jaon Ga. . .
Choot Ki Chahat Mein Sara Chaman Jala Dala
Wah Wah
Chut Ki Chahat Mein Saara Chaman Jala Dala
Kia Kehne . . .
Aisa Choda Aisa Choda K Choot Ko Kamaan Bana Dala. . .
*************************************************************************************
Main Teri Aankh Se Aujhal Ho Jaon Ga
Duur Bohat Fizao'n Main Kho Jaon Ga
Meri Yado'n Se Lipat Ker Roye Gi Tu Bohat
Jab Main Teri Gaand Mar Kar Farar Ho Jaon Ga. . .
POOR FARMER JOKE BY MUKUND
once a poor farmer's son gets married
due to lack of space he decides to divide the room into 2 by a thin cloth so that his son can enjoy his first night
in the night when his son is pumping his wife with full speed the old farmers wife asks the farmer to do it too
the farmer does it once and gets exausted but the son carries on and the farmers wife forces the farmer to do it again after doing it again the farmer is really exausted but the son starts again so the farmer goes over to the other side and says
"beta competition kyon laga raha hai maa to teri hi chudni hai"
due to lack of space he decides to divide the room into 2 by a thin cloth so that his son can enjoy his first night
in the night when his son is pumping his wife with full speed the old farmers wife asks the farmer to do it too
the farmer does it once and gets exausted but the son carries on and the farmers wife forces the farmer to do it again after doing it again the farmer is really exausted but the son starts again so the farmer goes over to the other side and says
"beta competition kyon laga raha hai maa to teri hi chudni hai"
MORE JOKES BY HAMMAD
Hum Ne Chaand Se Kaha K Tum Ne Dunya Main
Mere Yaar Sa Haseen Dekha Hai . . . ???
Tou Chaand Ne Muskura Ke Jawab Dia K "Itni Duur Se bhi Lund Nazar Aata Hai Bhala . . . "
***********************************************************************************
Q: What Do You Call "Prostitution" In Decent Terms. . . ? ?
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Ans: HOLE SALE BUSINESS (Whole sale). . .
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Student: Teacher, How Do Babies Come InTo The World. . ?
Teacher: In The Moonlight Angels Come & Leave The Baby In A Mother's Lap . .
Student: U Mean Fucking Is Useless . . . ;->
***********************************************************************************
GUY TAKES GILR TO HIS ROOM, PUTS HIS PANTS DOWN AND SAYS:
MEET MY LITTLE BROTHER ,
GIRL PICKS UP HER BAG AND SAYS: CALL ME WHEN HE GROWS UP. . .
***********************************************************************************
On a Wedding Night A Nervous Husband Tells His Wife. . .
" I'm Just 5 Ft 6 inches. . . & U. . ?
Wife: Forget The 5 Ft, Lets Concentrate On The 6 Inches. . . ;->
***********************************************************************************
please
( ) press down!
( ) )
( ')
/ /
( ) ) oh yeah !!!
( ')'.:,".;.
/ / ';".',,'
/ / ooohhh
( ) ) baby ur good. . . .
***********************************************************************************
Mere Yaar Sa Haseen Dekha Hai . . . ???
Tou Chaand Ne Muskura Ke Jawab Dia K "Itni Duur Se bhi Lund Nazar Aata Hai Bhala . . . "
***********************************************************************************
Q: What Do You Call "Prostitution" In Decent Terms. . . ? ?
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Ans: HOLE SALE BUSINESS (Whole sale). . .
***********************************************************************************
Student: Teacher, How Do Babies Come InTo The World. . ?
Teacher: In The Moonlight Angels Come & Leave The Baby In A Mother's Lap . .
Student: U Mean Fucking Is Useless . . . ;->
***********************************************************************************
GUY TAKES GILR TO HIS ROOM, PUTS HIS PANTS DOWN AND SAYS:
MEET MY LITTLE BROTHER ,
GIRL PICKS UP HER BAG AND SAYS: CALL ME WHEN HE GROWS UP. . .
***********************************************************************************
On a Wedding Night A Nervous Husband Tells His Wife. . .
" I'm Just 5 Ft 6 inches. . . & U. . ?
Wife: Forget The 5 Ft, Lets Concentrate On The 6 Inches. . . ;->
***********************************************************************************
please
( ) press down!
( ) )
( ')
/ /
( ) ) oh yeah !!!
( ')'.:,".;.
/ / ';".',,'
/ / ooohhh
( ) ) baby ur good. . . .
***********************************************************************************
JOKES BY HAMMAD
Sookhe Kapre Dekh Ker Sasur Ne Bahoo Se Poocha : Ye Kala Kapra Kis Ka Hai. . ? ?
Baho : Ye Meri Penty Hai
Sasur: Kabhi Pehne Huey Tou Nahi Dekha . . .
***************************************************************************************************
Girls College K Bahar Larki Chaat Wale Ko Bolti Hai : Bhaiya Meri Chaat . . .
Chaat Wala : Ek MinuTe. . .
Larki: Jaldi Se Meri Chaat Period Start Hone Wala Hai . . .
***************************************************************************************************
BOY:
Sau (100) Kamata Hoon
Sava Sau Lutata Hoon
Tum Jaisi Larkion Ko Apne Lund Pe Bithata Hoon. . .
***************************************************************************************************
GIRL:
Sau Kamata Hai
Sava Sau Lutata Hai
25rs Kya Apni Maa Chudwa Ke Lata Hai. . .
***************************************************************************************************
New Remix Song From Movie GARAM MASLA
Palang Dekhoon
Zameen Dekhoon
Jahan Dekhoon Tera Chehra
Wahin Chodoon
Har Ek Bisterrr
Tera Bisterr
Wo Kia Bister Jahan Tujh Ko Nahi Chodoon. . .
Sanama Sanama . . .
***************************************************************************************************
I Had Avised "RANI MUKHERJI" To Use "WHISPER"
But
She Didn't. . . . . . .
THEN. . . . . !!!!
THEN WHAT. . . . . ? ?
"LAAGA PENTY MEIN DAAG. . . "
***************************************************************************************************
Q: What's The Most Insulting Thing U Can Say To A Person. . . ?
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Ans: Your Birth Certificate Was An Apology Letter From The Condom Factory. . . "
***************************************************************************************************
Agar MADHU BALA Ki Jaga MALIKA SHERAWAT "Mughal-E-Azam" Me Hoti
Tou Film Ka Naam Kia Hota. . . . ? ? ?
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MUGHAL - E - ORGASM . . .
***************************************************************************************************
Q. What Do You Call A Rabbit With A Bent Dick. . . ? ? ?
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A. Fucks Funny. . . ;->
***************************************************************************************************
Baho : Ye Meri Penty Hai
Sasur: Kabhi Pehne Huey Tou Nahi Dekha . . .
***************************************************************************************************
Girls College K Bahar Larki Chaat Wale Ko Bolti Hai : Bhaiya Meri Chaat . . .
Chaat Wala : Ek MinuTe. . .
Larki: Jaldi Se Meri Chaat Period Start Hone Wala Hai . . .
***************************************************************************************************
BOY:
Sau (100) Kamata Hoon
Sava Sau Lutata Hoon
Tum Jaisi Larkion Ko Apne Lund Pe Bithata Hoon. . .
***************************************************************************************************
GIRL:
Sau Kamata Hai
Sava Sau Lutata Hai
25rs Kya Apni Maa Chudwa Ke Lata Hai. . .
***************************************************************************************************
New Remix Song From Movie GARAM MASLA
Palang Dekhoon
Zameen Dekhoon
Jahan Dekhoon Tera Chehra
Wahin Chodoon
Har Ek Bisterrr
Tera Bisterr
Wo Kia Bister Jahan Tujh Ko Nahi Chodoon. . .
Sanama Sanama . . .
***************************************************************************************************
I Had Avised "RANI MUKHERJI" To Use "WHISPER"
But
She Didn't. . . . . . .
THEN. . . . . !!!!
THEN WHAT. . . . . ? ?
"LAAGA PENTY MEIN DAAG. . . "
***************************************************************************************************
Q: What's The Most Insulting Thing U Can Say To A Person. . . ?
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Ans: Your Birth Certificate Was An Apology Letter From The Condom Factory. . . "
***************************************************************************************************
Agar MADHU BALA Ki Jaga MALIKA SHERAWAT "Mughal-E-Azam" Me Hoti
Tou Film Ka Naam Kia Hota. . . . ? ? ?
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MUGHAL - E - ORGASM . . .
***************************************************************************************************
Q. What Do You Call A Rabbit With A Bent Dick. . . ? ? ?
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A. Fucks Funny. . . ;->
***************************************************************************************************
Hritik roshan visits gand ka dr.
While shooting for the film kaho na pyar hai, hritik had a very strange problem. while shitting his material would come out in noodles shape.
what was the option ??????
he had to visit our gand ka dr.
what was the option ??????
he had to visit our gand ka dr.
as usual the dr. inspected hritik, didnt find any problem and was confused.
he asked hritik if he felt like shitting. hritik said yes.
the dr. guided hritik to the toilet and closely observed the act.
when hritik came out after shit, the dr. slapped hard and said " madarchod..... hagtye waqt teri JAALI wali baniyan to upar kar liya kar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he asked hritik if he felt like shitting. hritik said yes.
the dr. guided hritik to the toilet and closely observed the act.
when hritik came out after shit, the dr. slapped hard and said " madarchod..... hagtye waqt teri JAALI wali baniyan to upar kar liya kar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Things which sound dirty,..but aren't
1.When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
Answers:
1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
Answers:
1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course
21 FUNNY THINGS ABOUT SEX STORIES
IF BY CHANCE U HAVE READ SEX STORIES NOTICE THESE SILLY HILARIOUS FACTS...........
AFTER READING THESE I READ A COUPLE AND COULDN'T STOP LAUGHING AS 80% OF THESE FACTS TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE.....
U ALSO TRY IT..........
1.Your best friend is so often impotent that his wife is always looking for someone to quench her thirst.
2. The husband of your next door neighbour is so busy minting money that he has forgotten he has a wife and God sends you to do the needful
3. Your cousin all of sudden develops into this voluptuous beauty that you can not take your eyes off her.
4. While in a car, you so often brush the breasts/ thighs of your colleague/ neighbour who has asked for a lift cause her own car broke down.
5. Your dick is always bigger than that of your neighbour’s husband. You ask her during sex and she confirms too.
6. The girl in question is always wet whether you have touched her hair or her breasts just before you touch her there. Some turn on your presence is.
7. The cunt in question is either clean shaven or has a thick bush. It has never been shaved a week before.
8. Your neighbour never forgets to tell you that she has never had so much fun with anyone.
9. She seldom forgets to tell that she has not slept with anyone except her husband and you are the Greek God that has forced her to abandon her loyalty.
10. Like an x rated film, your GF/ neighbour will always put ur dick in her mouth first and than in her puss. I wonder whether this sequence is ever going to change.
11. She will always scream “Please bahar nikalo dard ho raha hai” whether she is a virgin or not. In the latter case, your well endowed asset is the culprit.
12. You always get a virgin to screw though you always have a wealth of experience. Even if she is a married woman with a 6 year old kid she is still tight as hell because her
13. The aunty standing in front of you in the bus always turns and smiles when u rub your dick on her plump posterior. What sins did I commit to not deserve this?
14. You are never satisfied with a single fuck. You always have sex “thrice more and in various positions”.
15. There is always more to the tale and you “will disclose it in the next part”
16. The girl/ female in question always shifts to another town 2 months after having sex with you. (Hmmm strange)
17. Whether she shifts or not, you are still looking for “girls, aunties, bhabis” in and around your areas. (You are one perv huh)
18. Your colleague/ co passenger so easily agrees to share a hotel room with you because there is only one room and two people.
19. Your girlfriend likes your cum more than her favorite fruit juice, so she happily swallows it to the last drop and licks you dry even if she has put a dick in her mouth for the firs time.
20. You are always this 6 feet muscular good looking guy who has girls going crazy but you don’t give a damn about them.
21. The best girl in college has hoardes of boys behind her but she only talks to you.
High Class Beyizzati Goga Seth
Wife to husband agar duniya sirf 30min may khatum hurahi hu tu tum kia kerna chahogay?
husband offcourse "Sex"
Wife or baki k 29 minutes ?
********************************************************************************************
Airport officer to pathan ur name ?
Pathan Ajab khan
officer sex ?
Pathan yes daily
officer no no, i mean male or female ?
Pathan jo mil jayee
********************************************************************************************
Beta Abbu AAj se school main 1 period sex education ka bhi shuru ho gaya hay
baap Good lekin tum lulli q hilla rahay ho?
beta yeh aaj ka home work hay
********************************************************************************************
2 sardar were walking
1st sardar: yaar mar gaya meri bv or meri girl friend sath aa rahi hain
2nd sardar: oye may b yehi bolnay wala tha
********************************************************************************************
Eik badsoorat (ugly) aurat chudwatay howey pochti hay
Mujh may sub say khoobsurat cheez kia hay ?
Aadmi : mera lund............
********************************************************************************************
Boy : May pyaar ki gehrayi or mohabat ki unchayi ko choona chahta hoon
Girl : seedhi tarah q nahi kehtay ho k panty or braizer utaar do
********************************************************************************************
Sardar G apni wife k sath scooter dho rahay thay kisi nay un k totlay betay say pocha
"Papa Kahan Hain?"
beta bola "papa Chutar dho rahay hain or mummy pani dal rahi hain"
********************************************************************************************
so bhai logon aaj k liye itna he umeed karta hoon is baar aap log reply zaroor karaingay so please make some hosla afzai aap tumam log apna or apnay gird-u-nawah k logon ka khayal rakhiye ga
aap ki duaaoon ka talubgaar
husband offcourse "Sex"
Wife or baki k 29 minutes ?
********************************************************************************************
Airport officer to pathan ur name ?
Pathan Ajab khan
officer sex ?
Pathan yes daily
officer no no, i mean male or female ?
Pathan jo mil jayee
********************************************************************************************
Beta Abbu AAj se school main 1 period sex education ka bhi shuru ho gaya hay
baap Good lekin tum lulli q hilla rahay ho?
beta yeh aaj ka home work hay
********************************************************************************************
2 sardar were walking
1st sardar: yaar mar gaya meri bv or meri girl friend sath aa rahi hain
2nd sardar: oye may b yehi bolnay wala tha
********************************************************************************************
Eik badsoorat (ugly) aurat chudwatay howey pochti hay
Mujh may sub say khoobsurat cheez kia hay ?
Aadmi : mera lund............
********************************************************************************************
Boy : May pyaar ki gehrayi or mohabat ki unchayi ko choona chahta hoon
Girl : seedhi tarah q nahi kehtay ho k panty or braizer utaar do
********************************************************************************************
Sardar G apni wife k sath scooter dho rahay thay kisi nay un k totlay betay say pocha
"Papa Kahan Hain?"
beta bola "papa Chutar dho rahay hain or mummy pani dal rahi hain"
********************************************************************************************
so bhai logon aaj k liye itna he umeed karta hoon is baar aap log reply zaroor karaingay so please make some hosla afzai aap tumam log apna or apnay gird-u-nawah k logon ka khayal rakhiye ga
aap ki duaaoon ka talubgaar
GOGA SETH JOKES
The inspired Goga Seth has some jokes to share :
Boy: Hi I love u
Girl : I m married Kuch tu sharam karo
Boy: Mujh May b aap k husband jaisay function hain
Girl: Kuttay k bachay tu b khusra hay kia?
*****************************************************************************
Tum duniya k un chand insano may say eik ho jin ko daikh kar un k baap kehtay hay k
Kash us din
"Condom Chara Liya Hota"
*****************************************************************************
Dulhan nay ubtan nahi lagai tu Dadi boli "beti ubtan laga lay warna noor nahi charhega"
Suhag raat k baad dulhan dadi say boli "Noor to aisa charah k subha he utra"
*****************************************************************************
Sir : bata teray haath may kitni ungliyan hain ?
student : Six
Sir : Haramzaday kitni bar samjah chuka hoon k "CHADDI" may haath dal kar mut gina kar
*****************************************************************************
A man was sitting with his wife in a bar when he left for toilet another lady came to his wife and said "Paisay Pehlay lay lena yeh admi baad may lapra karta hay"
*****************************************************************************
1st Randi : Lagta hay koi customer araha hay
2nd Randi : tumay kaisay pata chala ?
1st : Mujay lund ki khusbu ayi hay
2nd : Lo wo tu mein nay dakar mari hay
*****************************************************************************
Doctor to lady : kiya aap delivery k waqt bachay k baap ko apnay pass daikhna chahti hain ?
lady replied : Nahi unko meray husband pasand nahi kartay
Boy: Hi I love u
Girl : I m married Kuch tu sharam karo
Boy: Mujh May b aap k husband jaisay function hain
Girl: Kuttay k bachay tu b khusra hay kia?
*****************************************************************************
Tum duniya k un chand insano may say eik ho jin ko daikh kar un k baap kehtay hay k
Kash us din
"Condom Chara Liya Hota"
*****************************************************************************
Dulhan nay ubtan nahi lagai tu Dadi boli "beti ubtan laga lay warna noor nahi charhega"
Suhag raat k baad dulhan dadi say boli "Noor to aisa charah k subha he utra"
*****************************************************************************
Sir : bata teray haath may kitni ungliyan hain ?
student : Six
Sir : Haramzaday kitni bar samjah chuka hoon k "CHADDI" may haath dal kar mut gina kar
*****************************************************************************
A man was sitting with his wife in a bar when he left for toilet another lady came to his wife and said "Paisay Pehlay lay lena yeh admi baad may lapra karta hay"
*****************************************************************************
1st Randi : Lagta hay koi customer araha hay
2nd Randi : tumay kaisay pata chala ?
1st : Mujay lund ki khusbu ayi hay
2nd : Lo wo tu mein nay dakar mari hay
*****************************************************************************
Doctor to lady : kiya aap delivery k waqt bachay k baap ko apnay pass daikhna chahti hain ?
lady replied : Nahi unko meray husband pasand nahi kartay
Things which sound dirty,..but aren't
1.When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
Answers:
1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course
2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?
3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?
4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard . What am I?
5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?
6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When You blow me you feel good. What am I?
7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?
8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?
9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?
10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?
Answers:
1. a dentist
2. a wedding ring
3. peanut butter
4.chewing gum
5. an elevator
6. a nose
7. a newspaper boy
8. a glove
9. a crane
10. a toothbrush, of course
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