FILTHY JOKES _l_: Image jokes

Showing posts with label Image jokes. Show all posts

NO EXCUSES AT ANY COST

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ass, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."

At Hospital

At Ski lodge

Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

Don't copy stuff ......

A well-known motivational speaker gathering the entire crowd's attention,
said, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who
wasn't my wife !"

The crowd was shocked!!!!!!!!

He followed up by saying, "That woman was my mother!"

The crowd burst into laughter and he gave his speech, which was well
received.

About a week later, one of the top managers who had the training decided to
use that joke at his house. He tried to rehearse the joke in his head. It
was a bit foggy to him.

He said loudly, "The greatest years of my life were spent in the arms of a
woman who was not my wife!"

Naturally, his wife was shell shocked, murmuring.

After standing there for almost 10 seconds trying to recall the second half
of the joke, the manager finally blurted out "... and I can't remember who
she was !"

As expected, he got thrashing of his life time....

Moral of the story: Don't copy if you can't paste . . .