FINGERS ARE BETTER

• You always know where your fingers have been
• For variety, you have ten to choose from
• They don't get tired before you do...
• You don't have to smile at them afterwards
• You don't have to get out of bed to fetch them
• They are also useful *out* of bed
• You can stop if you want to
• Your fingers don't want to meet your family
• Your fingers don't get jealous
• Your fingers don't smell
• Your fingers won't just fall asleep afterwards
• Your fingers don't want you to meet *their* family
• You don't get jealous of your fingers
• Your fingers don't mind if you fall asleep afterwards
• Your fingers won't let you down (Snowwhite)
• Your fingers don't want to watch a football match instead
• Your mother won't critisize your fingers
• You can't get pregnant from your fingers
• Your fingers don't need batteries
• People aren't surprised to find you have them
• Fingers don't need adaptors to covert American plugs to English ones (I've heard this can be a problem.)
• They don't shrink afterwards (Snowwhite)
• You always have them with you
• You can chew on them when you are nervous (Snowwhite)
• You can use more than 1 at a time
• They are agile
• They'll never leave you (Snowwhite)
• You don't have to make your fingers coffee in the morning (Gideon)
• You can also use them to clean the wax out of your ears (Gideon)
• They want to when you want to
• They don't take up half the bed at night
• They are easy to clean
• If the ones you are using get tired, you can switch to some of the others
• They don't demand acrobatics in bed
• They don't want to try out stuff they heard from friends
• You can use them to try out stuff *you* heard from friends without worrying about it going horribly wrong
• They don't look worried when *you* want acrobatics in bed
• Your fingers don't give you bite-marks (Addition: unless you *like* bite-marks)
• You can share them with a friend
• Fingers don't cheat on you
• Fingers don't have hidden wifes/girlfriends/husbands/boyfriends/children
• Your fingers don't yelp when you give them bite marks
• For variety you can paint them any colour you want?
• It's not suspicious if you take them to the toilet with you
• Since they come on 2 hands, you can use them on 2 places at the same time
• They write your e-mail for you
• You can use them for netsex when company is required
• They're compatible with a wide range of leather goods and electrical appliances
• No one ever fell in love with their fingers
• They'll change the video channel for you
• You can use them to write down your fantasy and share it with people
• They won't ask: Am I the first?
• You can type with them (although I'd rather like to see a man... *whistle*)
• They won't be disgusted when you have your period
• They don't snore, fart, burp or have smelly breath
• They don't want you to swallow
• They don't whistle after other, better-looking women or men
• They don't care if your hair is a mess
• You don't have to tell them how you'd like it
• They don't brag how great they are
• They don't cost you time, money or patience
• They don't want to know where you were last eveing
• Your friends don't criticise them
• Their friends don't criticise you (fingers don't *have* friends)
• Afterwards, they won't ask: 'Did you come?' (Eva T.)
• They don't leave you to sleep in the wet spot (Eleni)
• They don't mind if you scream 'oh yes, *METHOS*!!'
• They're useful for scooping up nutella, chocolate, lube (take your pick) and smearing it in the appropriate places... (Claire)
• Fingers don't ask who you are fantasizing about (Cher)
• They don't have STDs (Mona)
• Fingers are more sensitive to what you are feeling (LP)
• Unlike zucchinis, you don't have to bring them to room temperature (tyree)
• You won't be crushed underneath them in bed (Che & Wes)
• They come in varing sizes - thumb to pinkie, or any combination thereof, it's up to you (Che & Wes)
• There're extremely gentlemanly - they'll open doors for you, pull your chair out, and even cook you dinner! (Che & Wes)
• They won't finish just before you reach orgasm (Eva T.)
• You don't have to worry wether or not they wont come back after a goodnight (Jessy)